Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
