a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
