We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
