WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
