Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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