In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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