Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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