She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm like, not good at living.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
