He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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