tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize