Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
