I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
