i don't like sucking hair
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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