Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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