Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
