Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
