you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's always time for handjobs
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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