Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
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