Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
