everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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