Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
