OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
