Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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