He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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