I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
