just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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