she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
