I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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