does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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