And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
