that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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