I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
