he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
