I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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