I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
