i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize