A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
