i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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