margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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