when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
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