Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I CAN MOONWALK!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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