So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
