It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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