if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
