You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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