At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
