I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
