Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
