The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
