dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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